Letting go

I started meditating about a month ago. I take ten minutes out of the day - using a timer on my phone to make sure I take a full time - and visualize myself standing on top of the South Early Winter spire, overlooking the snow capped mountains of the Cascades. The serenity and senses I visit each mediation help center me in so many ways. I feel the gentle breeze on my skin, the accomplishment of getting to the top of a mountain by human power. I feel content, loved, happy with my mind and body at ease.

When I don't take the time things start to unravel. Little stuff starts to invade my peacefulness. The overgrown yard, things that should be put away, the bikes in the living room, the chores, etc. And as soon as I realize I've traveled down that path, I stop. I break out my phone, set my timer and I climb the spire and sit at the top - absorbing, observing, and just being.

A few days ago, for the first time, I had an unexpected visitor. Ryan joined me there. I know this sounds crazy, but I swear to God he was there. I felt him and heard his voice. It made me cry - but this time not from sadness and grief but from the realization how lucky I am to have someone who touched me so much. He's very much a part of me - and I take strength knowing he's there when I need him.

Three years is flying by.