I guess I didn't mentally prepare myself for the up and down side of being able to collect power data and see how the workouts are going. Up until this point everything I've trained with has been based on percieved exertion - which is a poor indicator when it comes to hard VO2 efforts and time trialing. Luckily TT is something very trainable and that's one of the reasons I invested in a powertap but damn those numbers hit me a little harder than I thought they would yesterday.
For example - I've been doing hard efforts for the past two weeks. But last week during the second day of training, I severly slacked off from the previous effort. Maybe it was because I was tired... maybe listening to some downer music... having a bad training day.... whatever it was - now that I can look at the numbers I found out that I should have just quit that session. On the flip side though - without a poor performance I would have nothing to tell me when to pour on the gas or to ease up. So now I know an actually wattage output to benchmark the remainder of my VO2 sessions with. (And I have to remind myself that I am still wet behind the ears.)
Tomorrow I have one more VO2 workout and then my hard work will show in the season... which is less then 3 weeks away. Ryan helped ground me later that night - for which I am so thankful for. Even though I had several great workouts with high wattage output I dwelled on the one that wasn't. Out came the perfectionist. But the reality of the situation - now I have something I can easily work toward and improve. A very good and important lesson to learn.