Saturday, October 25, 2008

Half and Half

I've been sleeping like crap lately. Waking up in the middle of the night and then unable to fall back asleep. Not wanting to nap during the day so I can fully rest at night and then not being able to. So yesterday when a big HUGE wave of grief washed over for me, it hit like a tsunami on my emotions from already being sleep deprived.

Makiah was out in the yard hanging out while I was doing some much needed yard work. Marcy stopped by on her way home and we chatted for a little bit. As she was walking down the street, Makiah followed her and then the dog from across the street attacked her. I came running, feeling like a panicked mother ready to lift a car off my child, and found her limping and scared shitless. My neighbor felt awful - but Makiah was fine. That triggered a serious wave of emotion as I thought that losing her right now would send me completely over the edge!

I must have looked funny - as I was mowing the lawn I started sobbing. But did I stop mowing to go inside and cry? No. I kept doing the yard work. I couldn't stop thinking of Ryan coming home from work, criticizing my mow job (we have a hilly section that I refuse to do) and then commending me on getting out and getting it done. I became hysterical. I laid down on the couch and couldn't move. I gave Guy a text - saying I was in level 8-9 zone and he came over quickly to turn some lights on in the house and help my soul start to see some light again.

I then drove to the airport to pick up my dear friend from Kerry from San Fran and she cheered me up. We headed to the Santa Fe cafe on Phinney ridge, ordered some margaritas and tasty cuisine and talked and talked. She's such an amazing person. One of those friends that you don't have to see every day, but when you do see them, even if a long time has passed, you're instantly back to where you were without skipping a heart beat. She's married now and attending art school - and as we found out last night have roots in the interior of Canada - Winnipeg to be exact! How bizarre is that? And why hadn't we made that connection before? So she helped me picked myself back up, wipe those tears away and we're in for some big adventures today.

No comments: