Monday, February 09, 2009

Your absence weighs heavy on my heart today. This is my first rest day in a few weeks and not being pressured by the constant workouts to get in before daylight disappears makes the house seem a little more empty.

I can't help but feel like I'm still going to wake up from this nightmare. Strange, when I felt like I had made such forward progress - yet emotionally slammed at the drop of a hat. It still aches. My heart still cries for you.

Here I sit at your computer in the downstairs basement. Where you spent countless hours coding for Pacific Ridge and listening to your tunes. I've been having lots of memories flood my consciousness lately - from our European trip to watching the way you walk. Is it strange I called your phone today just to hear your voice?

Oh Bubba, I miss you so much.

2 comments:

Beetlebetty said...

Jen, not strange that you called Ryan's phone. When Reece died I called his phone ALL the time. Sometimes I needed to cry so I would just call his phone so the tears would come. I think about you all the time. xoxox

jaimie said...

I call his phone often. Of course I want him to be acting silly, but it is the responsible Ryan with his handsome voice.
I think of the two of you often. Trying to feel and ease your pain. It will come in waves now and I will be here for you. We will be here for you!! Call for some laughs.