I feel like I've lost my passion. It's been more pronounced lately - with the quickly approaching race season a short month away. I just don't have that drive that I used to. The thing that wakes me up in the morning, that gets me on the bike despite the weather. That keeps me eager for each day - knowing that time put into the saddle then will translate to being faster in the future.
It's lost. I go through the motions - but I can't help but feel empty when doing so.
Ryan was a constant daily reminder to live my passion. Follow something with my heart and soul. Live each moment, each heart beat by heart beat - and strive to be the best. He was so inspiring just by being him. And I'm having a hard time finding that same drive now that he's gone.
As I was driving over the Fremont bridge into work this morning, I couldn't help but ask myself, what's my passion? What keeps me excited each day? Cycling used to be my fire. But some how that's changed. And now I feel lost without having something to strive for. Being driven by passions is a curse and a blessing all at the same time.
I can only hope that one day it comes back regardless of its shape or form.