It could have been a really hard weekend this past weekend. I could have stayed home, saved those bold encounters and reminders for a different time. I could have waited till another time to have a steady reminder that being in San Jose was the last time I talked to Ryan on the phone, the very last time I heard his voice and hear him say I love you. The tear filled drive home and then the beginning of my nightmare - but I went anyway. I had to. And I am so thankful to have been surrounded by my teammates and friends - excited about racing and having a great time, quick to make each other laugh.
Sure I had my moments. Like oddly finding out Michael Jackson died. I swear we were in the same location at about the same time when Ryan went out climbing - about 2 hours outside of San Jose. Is life really that random?
Then hearing from Ryan's dad for the first time in months. Hearing in his voice how hard Father's day was. I felt like sobbing out loud while warming up on my rollers before the points race.
But then being surrounded by friends from around the country. Some of whom said something, some didn't. Thank you to those who did.
Then things started getting a little easier. I raced my bike and good things happened. I felt alive. I displayed 100% of my ability. I laughed, I got paid for my podium efforts. And I smiled, a lot. I was surrounded by people who love track racing as much as I do - and it revived my passion for this sport. So much in fact, I'm seriously considering going to elite nationals.
I was reminded again of an important life lesson. Life is too short not to be doing what you love, living your passion and dreams, whatever those may be. If you don't - then one day you'll wake up and think nothing of Michael Jackson dying. :)