Saturday, September 29, 2007

Mr. Pee Pee Pants

This was just way too good of a story to pass up...

Ryan's been working a lot this week trying to make a deadline and putting in some extra hours. Needless to say, come Friday night he needed to release some steam with some mindless entertainment so we went to play some pool at the Ballard Alehouse. Our buddy Dave met us there and we had a good time.

Until Mr. Pee Pee Pants came up and asked us if he could "throw down some skrilla" and play with us. He was alone - about 24 years old, tats all over his arms (he was wearing a black tank top), baggy jeans, a chrome belt, short, blond military like haircut and straight out of Ballard's finest. We figured, why not - we had been monopolizing the table all night and the dude seemed harmless, at first. Lucky for us he didn't shark the table and provided some much needed entertainment.

By this point, Ryan's fatigue from the week and lack of eating dinner plus several IPA's started to kick in. He partnered up with Mr. Pee Pee Pants who did several wacko dances whenever he would sink a shot. At one point he stood behind some guy, impatiently waiting his turn to go (the tables are pretty close to one another) and then when it was his turn, he shot the cue ball off the table. HILARIOUS! Every time a woman would walk by he would stick his overly long tongue out of his mouth and keep it out for 10 seconds. Gross! Maybe you had to be there....

Anyhoo - at one point, Dave and I trying to figure out what drugs he was on (we figured it was meth) and that he had actually peed his pants. He didn't smell like it mind you, thankfully the residue of the Ballard Alehouse funk was too strong to smell it, but his pants were definitely dark and stained in that area.

He left to have a smoke outside, which by the way he kept begging for one from us, big shocker - buddy, we don't smoke. And when he was outside, we ditched him. I know, kick a brother when he's down. But the dude was a fruit cake and we had had enough.

So if you're ever in Ballard and find yourself involved with a Pee pee pants person, don't say I didn't warn you.

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