Wow - it's Thursday already since I went through Ryan's pack and it feels like it was just yesterday. My head has been in a fog - drifting in and out of awareness that I can't seem to shake. I'm probably still exhausted and needing to catch up on some sleep from the last couple of weeks, yet can't seem to find myself getting to bed earlier than midnight and sleeping at the latest until 7.

Today was another difficult day - it seems like each time I open a pack or empty a bag from that week, it pulls off a deep scab that likes to bleed pretty heavily before a new scab forms. Today's scab was probably the hardest - luckily my mom was around to keep me from fainting from pain and grief. Several times my legs felt like they would give out from under me. I might actually have nightmares tonight from what we did - but in the long term it should help me heal. I hope. At least now I know that without a doubt he went quickly. My poor Bubba.