Had an okay day today. Managed to stay super busy which has it's plus and minuses. On the plus side - I got a ton of stuff done. But on the con side - I haven't had a minute to relax and think.

Met up with some climbing friends for beers tonight and had some interesting conversations. One of which asked why wasn't I throwing myself back into cycling yet? "It was your thing - so why aren't you doing it yet?!"

And why aren't I?

Several people have asked about Nationals - are you going? And now my original decision which was made to have some down time and letting my mind and body take a break from rigorous training is starting to be questioned. But do I doubt it? Not for one fucking second.

Pardon the french - but sometimes that word is appropriate.

Excuse me, but you try dealing with losing your soul mate and then acting as if everything is normal. It's not. And if you do pretend to be it's only going to make it worse, I guarantee it.