I watched the saddest movie I've seen in a long time. Revolutionary Road. It made me miss Ryan with a big lump in my throat, accompanied by deep, snotty sobs. The promise of going through life with my soul mate, a person who would always adventure with me, bring out the best in one another, to laugh with, cry with, have children with - gone.

Funny, I had just gotten into a sort of routine and started adapting to working really hard on the track bike. A diversion from grief. And then I watched that movie and it came crashing back in. I sat awake in bed last night, transported to 10 months ago. And then the news of John Bachar? I suppose the crying today was inevitable.

Ooff. Both blows below the belt.

Just goes to show - life has so many ups and downs, often back to back. I suppose you just get used to the roller coaster life.... and never take anything for granted.