Phobias

Have you ever had something that terrifies you? The mere mention or thought of that particular thing would send shivers up and down your spine or cause you to feel light headed? The more you try to pinpoint that phobia, the worse it would get?

Well that's how I feel about the dentist. Maybe it was from watching too much of the Little Shop of Horrors as a kid. Or maybe I had a bad experience - though in recent memory I have no recollection of something traumatic happening.

But about 10 years ago, when Ryan and I first started dating, he accompanied me to my dentist in Lynnwood. They did a routine cleaning and then a casual check up, upon which they discovered a cavity. Rather than schedule another appointment, they had time to address the issue then. And that's when I found out. That's when I knew I had issues. That's when after being numbed up in the mouth, ear phones on while watching tv, one sound of the drill and I bolted from the chair. I left the office - not waiting for Ryan - unable to contain my anxiety. He couldn't help but laugh as he drove me home, mouth numbed and droll spilling down my face with my tears. They didn't even touch me!

So my next trip, a few weeks later, they prescribed me Valium. I know what you're thinking. Ms. Washington State Boxing Champ has a little weak spot. All you have to do is mention the word drill and I cower in the corner. My mommy drove me north, stopping at a park an hour before so I could take my special pill and we waited until the effects hit before heading to the office. The filling was fixed and I laughed at myself at how irrational my fear was.

Then 5 years passed. I went to another dentist who told me I should have all of my fillings replaced. Guess what? I never went back.

Five more years passed. Here I'm having a great time in the islands and my uncle gives me this Hawaiian candy and I crack a tooth on it. I thought it was maybe just a filling that had fallen out. I went to show my uncle, who is not a dentist, my mouth and totally felt faint. Head between the legs, deep breathing and everything. Upon my return to the mainland I made an appointment, picked up my Valium from the pharmacy this morning, had my mommy drive me again up to Lynnwood and bravely sat in the chair.

And that's when I found out I have a cavity that rotted my tooth and cracked it. DAMN! Guess what that means? Drill time. But at this point the drugs started working and with a little bit of laughing gas, I was floating on cloud nine without a care of what they were doing to my mouth. But I still could smell the burning tooth. A few moments later, and I was done. Why am I such a wimp?

All I can say is that phobias are so irrational and pretty funny... and I can't stop laughing at myself. You can bet your ass I'll be taking more Valium for my next check up in a few weeks!