Book Signing

People, even strangers, are in your life for a reason.

Today's encounter was no exception. I received a phone call from a guy at work who said he was ready to book our venue. He had a date in mind, which was already booked, so he did a Thursday instead. He said he would stop by within an hour to meet with me and do this.

I admired his resolve, but thought to myself - let's see if he shows up. A lot of people talk the talk...

He showed up within the hour. We discussed his event. He expects 100 people and is doing an e-book signing. After 20+ years of living with severe health problems, he's figured out how to heal himself internally by action and through faith. (Remember? This IS Colorado Springs, aka Focus on the Family, etc.)

His enthusaism was infectious. I told him I was writing a book as well. He asked how many hours I have put into m it - and I commented - all my life. Well, I've put in about 500 hours, he said. And now it's becoming a reality. He's having a signing and invited about 100 people to celebrate his success.

I am stoked for the guy, really. Seeing someone pursue their passion with gusto, leaving their day time corporate job to do something he really enjoys is just testament that I'm doing the right thing myself. And that I am confident I can do the same thing!

Just watch - I'm going to have a book signing as well to celebrate and commemorate a big achievement. 

A little stage race and a BIG ALPINE SLIDE.

My mind has been conscious of approaching anniversary dates. In fact, I'm pretty sure my recent blue lens color was due to that very reason. Couple that with my decision to take action and put the cabin on the market, and well if tears didn't wet my pillow, I'd start questioning if I was human.

Interestingly, the last portion of August seemed the hardest this year. My year of firsts has long come and gone - and now I'm dealing with memories. The last time I saw him, the last time we talked, the last time I told him I loved him, and he in turn told me. The dark cloud of grief is impossible at times to ward off. But I know time will take care of that. Time will ease me back into sunshine.

Early September brings up lots of transition, lots of memories and recognition of my past life. It signals the end of the summer and the transition into fall and winter. Escaping to Steamboat Springs to compete in a stage race helped. It kept my mind off of the memories and instead demanded my attention in the here and now. A place that I'd honestly much rather be. A place that I appreciate everyday. A place that I've found to be where doors open up, both inward and outwardly.

So when the opportunity came to ride a rickety alpine slide - I jumped at the chance. I got excited like a little kid. And Cari thankfully obliged my desire. There's something thrilling about zooming downhill, bordering being out of control, while doing something new and different. I talked about it all day. Even before our 7:47 am road race start. And after our finish. And after we did a little sidewalk sale shopping... "want to hang out in a coffee shop?"

No. I want to go on the ALPINE SLIDE!!!!

Two grown women, no kids and an alpine slide.

We rode the super slow chair lift up 2,500 feet to the start of the slide. Its slow procession calmed my excitement. "Why aren't these people screaming and having fun?"

I started to absorb the sliders somber attitude toward going downhill. That is until we got to the top. We had to wait in line for about 10 minutes as families with small children slowly went down the mountain. My excitement was building as well as my strategy of no brakes. I wanted to give the little girl in front of me ample time to go down - because I knew I would catch her. She was maybe 8 and said she had done the slide before.


The slide monitor told us: "You can go."

I pretty much screamed to whole way down. No brakes, lots of turns and the risk of flying off the track. It was so much fun! And as I came screaming around one of the last corners - there was the little girl. Stopped in mid-track. I had plenty of time to brake and avoided her but as it turns out, I scared the piss out of her. Literally. Her mom waited down at the bottom said, "why is your sled wet?" Yep, the poor little girl wet her pants.

I'm not sure if I caused the release - but I'm pretty sure my screaming didn't help the situation. It just goes to show, I suppose, that sometimes I scare the piss out of people.

This moment in time.

About a year ago, I had an amazing conversation with my friend Laura. We were working on visualization exercises and she lead me through a series of exercises where I eventually met my future self, 50 years young, and got to ask her questions.

Think about it - if you could meet your future self, what questions would you ask yourself? Am I doing the right thing? When will I make money? Fame? Fortune? Etc., etc.

Encountering this older self, all I could do was smile. And myself smiled back at me. Rather than ask myself questions, I felt this overwhelming and strong presence: strength, wisdom, beauty, integrity, honesty and love. I admired her/me. Asking those questions didn't make any sense. Because I knew just by seeing the reflection of my older self that I am living in the here and now and doing EXACTLY what I should be doing. Her smile knew, and it transferred to me.

Even with life's uncertainties, job questions, love, potential tragedies, huge successes - in that moment, and in this moment in time, I'm okay with not knowing the answers to those questions. I trust myself and the process of life and know that my life will be rich and full of love and laughter. What more could you ask for?

Blissfully Being

I've said this before, and I'll say it again. You know it was a good weekend when you need a weekend after your weekend. Wow!

The action actually started early last week. Benjamin headed out to Crested Butte on Tuesday night to follow the Pro Cycling Challenge. If you live under a rock or worse - don't follow cycling! - it's one of the biggest stage races in the good old US of A. Lots of climbing at altitude, pro tour riders, lots of fans and a circus like atmosphere all equating to a good time. Unfortunately I had to work but got to take part of the action as the race rolled through Colorado Springs on Friday. There was a little crit before hand and Katie Compton crushed us - rolling away from the field 3 minutes in. I hit my top end in those 3 minutes, something I haven't done in about a month due to travel and lack of racing. Ouchie.

But I still managed to hone the field sprint, despite having a rear flat with three laps to go. I cautiously took each corner, one eye closed and said a little prayer each time. Apparently somebody was listening and I finished 'er off. Good times.

A few hours later, Benjamin, Moonli, Makiah and I packed up the car and headed up into the mountains. We took our mountain bikes and had a blast. Not to mention a little r&r, some good eats, some beers and some over priced Beaver Creek gelato. We even stopped in South Park. Yes, THE South Park. And ate at Dorothy's Tamales. Bison tamales and bowling - a perfect way to spend Friday night. I actually rolled 4 strikes in a row. FOUR! Benjamin just shook his head in disbelief or disgust, I'm not sure which.

We both needed time away from routine - a celebration of the past several months being over and just being together. Have I mentioned the word bliss yet? Because I'm pretty sure I screamed it as we descended for 30 minutes off of Meadow Mountain out of Minturn.

But the weekend didn't stop there.... on Monday morning we boarded a flight to Chicago for an overnight with friends Greg and Lisa. They drove down from South Bend, IN and we partied. Hard. Ouchie. Thankfully we started early and were in bed by 9pm that night, making the early wake up call to catch the CTA train back to O'Hare bearable.  Benjamin continued onto Geneva for the rest of the week and I got to check in with some brides back in COS.

Next up? Steamboat Springs for the last local Colorado stage race of the 2012 season. Higgins and I get to giggle together.... yahoo! I love living here.

A bird, a confrontation and a hug.

I was just riding along, minding my business in Garden of the Gods' Park, when my bike decided it was having none of that and bit me. Chomp!

Maybe it had something to do with my tall boy black socks?

Or maybe it was from attempting to teach myself some cross skills in as little time as possible?

Or maybe, truthfully, it was learning the hard way why you never dismount on the right side of your bike. Chain rings bite!

I know, I know. I shouldn't be sharing that I got a puncture wound on my left leg, which is normally no where near the drive train. But yesterday was special. (Or rather - I'm special.)

Fast forward 45 minutes.....

I swung by King Soopers (Colorado Springs' version of QFC) on my way home to pick something up and as I was leaving the parking lot, I might have cut an oncoming car off. Actually, come to think of it, I thought I had left him plenty of room. But as this guy rolled by in his Kia SUV, I saw him give me the bird. He speed up to a red light so I pulled up next to him and knocked on his window.

"Excuse me, but why did you flip me off?"

He gave me the deer in the headlights look.

"Flipping you off? Oh no! I was trying to figure out the wind whistle from my window gasket!"

We both giggled. He grabbed my hand and squeezed it - pretty much a KIA SUV hug - and I told him to have a nice day. Then I chuckled all the way home.

What color are your lenses?

Four hours. Four years. Four minutes. Four decades. Forever and a day.

I'm blue today. We're all allowed to be blue every once in a while, no? And most days, most hours, minutes, decades and years - my cup brims over with happiness. I have a lot to be thankful for. No, scratch that. I have a gazillion things to be thankful for! And I am.

But sometimes, every once in a while, my lenses have a blue tint.

Track vs. Cross, that is the question!

For those wondering out there - yes, I'm still riding. But my season focus has taken on a new twist. I got back from 10 days in London and had to make an immediate decision: to go to elite track nationals or not. And while I'd love to go for the 7th time, since seven times is a charm, I decided against it. Fear not! For the first time since I started racing, I'm going to give cyclo-cross a whirl.

Usually by the time track is over, I'm burnt out on racing anymore and take all of October off the bike. But this year, since I've had so many amazing opportunities and travel to Australia, Spain and London - well, it's time to mix it up. Time to keep some intensity rolling into the winter months. Time to freeze my ass off and go for it with gusto in under 60 minute increments. Guess what else that means? More 29er action in the world class mountain biking trails about 10 minutes from my house.

Take today for instance - clear beautiful blue skies, temps in the low 80s and only a handful of people on the trails enjoying Buckhorn and Captain Jacks. My grin was ear to ear as I crushed downhill (err, well, crushing downhill for me!) and I only nearly ate it once on loose gravel. It didn't take me long to figure out riding on the banked berm not only made my grin grow but the stability much better. I often wonder when I'm in that moment, in pure absolute joy, if someone else can feel it. You know that YAHOO BUDDY! feeling you had today? Yep, we channeled one another. Thanks!

Big, amazing prospects are on the horizon. But more on that later. I've got Benjamin's world famous oatmeal chocolate chip cranberry cookies to consume. YUM!

Paying attention

It sure feels like this is the year of the fire. Not that it isn't always around. But with recent proximity of fires and how close they are hitting home, it's hard to ignore its presence. Not only was the Colorado Spring fire close, but yesterday an arsonist destroyed a good portion of my dad's dealership in Eugene. Buildings can be replaced, people cannot and thankfully no one was hurt, but the memorabilia lost is non-replaceable. 

 Earlier this year, when the COS fire came so close to our home, I started to ponder what is it about fire that intrigues me. Although devastating by what it can engulf, it also has a strange beauty of renewal. A strong reminder of the circle of life and that nothing in this world is permanent. What can we learn from its beauty? Can we detach ourselves completely from material things? Do you focus on what's gone or do you look at it as a fresh start, a clean slate, or a blank canvas?

It got me thinking about the other major fires in my lifetime: the Bellingham Pipeline explosion, 9/11, driving back from California in September 2008, and Colorado Springs. Every single incident, I was out of town. Coincidence? To that, I can't be sure. So I started looking deeper, trying to find a link...

I mentioned these occurrences to a fire fighting friend of mine and he suggested I look into dungeon and dragons. Seriously. But it was there, in his D&D books that he came across the elements and astrology signs. Maybe there's a connection there? Curious, I looked into Aries, which as it turns out is a fire sign. Mr. Google turned up some interesting results about fire sign characteristics...

"Those with planets in fire signs have a simmering at-the-ready stance, as they hunt for things that light them up. They're prone to sudden illuminating flashes of insight and bursts of enthusiasm. Like fire itself, they can flare up when inspired, making them seem very passionate about life. They like to live large, and often feel frustrated by mundane chores and duties.

Fire signs are known to be intuitive, and to rely on gut-level instincts. Going on faith in their inner guidance gets them far, but they have a tendency to skip crucial steps, or to be unaware of the emotional impact of their actions."

Hmmm.... okay. But how does that relate to the fires? 

"When the fire element is present, there's a warm radiance, a trust in life's journey and a willingness to take risks. Any party or celebration is made better with the presence of a fully-charged up fire sign. They're great catalysts for play, and liable to unearth the spontaneous side of those around them. Because they sense a golden thread of destiny and potential running through their own lives, they have a knack for leading others to theirs.

Fire signs act on instinct or "sixth sense," and that makes them look reckless to more cautious types. They're actually following a powerful intuition that keeps them at the leading edge of fresh experiences.

Fire is infused with the divine spark, and this can spread like wildfire to everyone around them. They've got a lust for life that is enviable. Those that are weighted down might try to toss a wet blanket on their enthusiasm, so Fire must vigilantly guard its beacon. It's important for them to have cheerleaders to fan the flames of their interests.

But Fire that thinks only of itself learns the wisdom of the other elements the hard way. They'll keep coming up against resistance, until there is willingness to see there are no short cuts. Each of the other elements has something to offer, and in return, Fire gives off a glow that is as nourishing as the rays of the Sun."

Food for thought. 

A Four Year Journey.

If you would have told me four years ago I'd be where I am now in my life, I wouldn't believe it. Mainly because four years ago, I remember thinking to myself that life couldn't possibly get any better. That I was living the life of my own choosing, racing my bike, in an amazing relationship and living life to the fullest. Ryan and I had the relationship most people dream of - respect, honesty, humor, and passion.

And then the worse possible thing that could happen did. Ryan died in a tragic climbing accident.

Shock, disbelief, sadness, anger. My identity was gone. I didn't know who I was on my own. I started a journey with no clear rules, no direction. Riddled with pain and loss, I had to figure out who I was, on my own.

It never crossed my mind that I would love again. Or that I could be loved again in that way. I experienced some serious lows. There were days when I cried straight through. Days where I didn't want to leave my house. Days I questioned the meaning of life. And months of big hippo tears and sadness. Outwardly I appeared to be holding it together. Inwardly I was crushed.

I spent days searching for some sort of relief. Someway to make time whiz by. I started taking bigger risks, wondering why I was left behind to endure the pain and gut wrenching experience of healing. But I knew the minute I asked that of myself, that there was a reason I was the one left behind. Why I was the one experiencing great loss.

I want to share my story so others who are feeling pain know that there is hope. That life can get better then you can imagine. And there's so much beauty to have known love, true love, than to not know it at all.

Time slowly passed. The year of firsts extremely difficult. Conversations had, relationships nurtured, other lost - all experienced while I was head to toe numb. It took a while to defrost from the deep freeze of grief. I had to feel those lows, to feel hollow and dreadful. Slowly but surely, I started healing. I started to see buds of a new understanding coming to life. They were fleeting at first, but gave me such hope.

And then I stumbled upon the greatest gift of all. The gift of living in the now. The one that values and concentrates on the present. The past is done, the future unknown. All we really have is the now. Good things started happening. Really, really good things. I started laughing more, I started seeing more beauty and love. My heart and soul opened up ready for anything the universe might throw my way.

I started traveling the world, quit biting my fingernails, and met Benjamin. All of those things, all of those adventures and experiences started a momentum in my life. That just when something wonderful would happen, things that I thought were only dreams started to come true, more dreams started to come true. I no longer questioned why things were happening, but I embraced them. I appreciated them and lived them. And more doors started opening. If your heart is open, truly open, anything and everything is possible.

This September marks four years since Ryan's death. And it feels like it's been a lifetime since then. To have gained so much strength, wisdom and knowledge of who I am and how to live has been the biggest gift of all. Thank you time, for showing me that your slow passage does heal all and that living in each moment is the ultimate gift. And thank you Ryan for showing me love and bringing Benjamin into my life.

The life of your dreams...

What if I told you that you could win the lottery? That you could live the life of your dreams? That the way to create the life of your dreams is to simply dream it first?

 Dreams do come true.

Since really taking to heart my mantra of being the master of your own destiny, things have fallen into place. And the more I think about all of the wonderful things in my life, the more I realize that it's the universe bouncing back positive vibrations right at me. Sounds hookey, right?

But it's true.

Need examples? I've got a lifetime full. Moving to Colorado, writing full time, getting a job that is flexible about my time off to race and travel, having a fulfilling and amazing love, surrounded by sweet puppies and feeling so full, so happy each and every day that I wish I could bottle this feeling up and give it to everyone I know.

Two Friday's ago, with a little nudge from a coworker, I booked a last minute ticket to the London XXX Olympic Games to surprise Benjamin. I didn't have a place to stay, or tickets to the velodrome, or a sure way to meet up with him. But at the last minute, I connected with Lauren's husband Mike and had a place to stay as well as tickets. And I even surprised Benjamin! Originally he was going to meet Mike to hand off some helmet decals and I rode down the escalator as they were talking and had an old West Virgina hat from Benjamin's road racing team. Mike mentioned he kept seeing someone in a hat from his old team and he turned around saying, "I probably know them!" He looked right by me, not expecting me there. And once he realized it was me the look of shock and relief was priceless. To be there, to show him my support in person for such a big moment in his life, was amazing. Those are the moments that stick with you through the years, that freeze in your memory and embed in your soul.

I've learned, with increasing frequency, that the bigger the dreams, the bigger the outcome. Taking risks, being adventurous, living life with gusto is challenging at first to make the commitment to, but once you do... your wildest dreams do come true.

 Dare to dream. Dare to live.

Life love.

Is it possible to fall in love with your life? To feel so at peace and at one with what you've been doing that you can't believe your lucky stars? Well I am and in so many ways. It deepens the more I experience things, the memories gathered and preferences I gain The more living I do, the more alive I feel. Nothing feels like a permanent obstacle; everything is a learning experience. Stories from London to follow... first I must ride!

A love story, a triumph, a time of celebration. Life is amazing. The highs, the lows, the peaks and valleys. Living in the moment and enjoying the now is the best gift you can give yourself. And sharing that with others is spectacular. I feel very, very rich and fulfilled and a part of the grand scheme of the universe. And I am so very, very proud of Benjamin.

Going for the GOLD

I've known for quite some time the fact that Benjamin was coming to the Olympics with the USA women team pursuit squad to compete in London. He's been traveling a lot to ensure the success of this team, with roughly 260 days of travel in the past year. And yet for some reason, I thought I would be okay with not coming to the games. That I would be okay watching it from the couch. That I would be okay with following the same routine so we could vacation to Mexico instead.

That all changed on Friday. I bought a ticket for only a little bit higher than the listed price, am sleeping on the floor in an apartment and just secured tickets to watch my baby perform with the girls. How could I miss it?

Tomorrow is showtime. It's the day we've all been waiting for for days, months, years, decades. It's time for the team to show the world that they are world class competitors. That they have dedicated their lives toward this common goal and that they have come prepared. I am so proud of them and especially of Benjamin. The Olympic movement really is special. And I feel really blessed to be a small part of it.

Romantic at heart

Life should be lived without regrets. Chances and risks are meant to be taken, they are meant to be explored and experienced with gusto. Outcomes shouldn't be weighted, as it's the journey to them that matters most. And having a big fat smile on your face while you soak it all in enhances the joy of living your dreams and makes it that much sweeter. I took a risk. I bought a ticket to london two days ago. I couldn't miss seeing Benjamin's hard work come to fruition. When someone means the world to you, moving heaven and earth to be with them seems trivial. Or at least boarding a transatlantic flight. No tickets? No problem. Something will work... He was surprised and had no idea I would show up. And the look on his face was priceless, priceless.

Inspiration: pass it on!

Inspiration comes in many forms: a landscape, a photograph, a poem, a book, a smile, a notion, a feeling, a hunch, little things, big things, ideas, thoughts, pretty much anything. It also comes in the form of people. And when you connect two people in the right space at the right time good things happen. Big things happen.

I've been struggling with the work/life balance since I returned from Spain. While on one hand I was super thrilled to have a job when I returned, I was also put into a new position right away. As mentioned before, I went from low person in the business to pretty important fairly quickly and before I could get used to one thing, I was promoted into a different role. One thing is for certain, not a day has gone by where I'm bored or looking for something to do. You want a new event planner? No problem! I'll try it out and see if it works.

And I was able to make immediate changes. And I got to clean up several messes. Some big, some small but messes all the same. I went from working roughly 20 hours a week to 40+. Gray hairs popped up with great frequency. I have a permanent knot in my right shoulder. And while I know I'm doing a great job and accomplishing a lot, I also recognize this isn't a sustainable pace. Or at least, not for me.

So today, after thinking about it over the weekend and during the week, I decided to take another leap. I decided to tell them it wasn't working for me and that while I enjoyed working with them, I don't think this is the right fit. I was prepared and ready to walk. Never did I see the counter offer coming. I got a call within the hour.

What would you do? Do you stay with the stressful but comfortable feeling of having a steady pay check? Or do you take the leap, pull yourself away from suckling on the bottle and go for it? That book I've been talking about isn't going to write itself. Those dreams I have won't become reality unless I start doing the footwork toward them. And as scary as that leap can feel, to step outside of your comfort zone, it's necessary for growth and the ultimate reward.

So if you see someone perched in limbo, straddling the fence between just doing it or staying in the same old routine, promise me that you'll tell them to go for it. Promise me that you'll go for it. Promise yourself to pursue it with gusto. Life is too long to not being doing exactly what you love. 

Howdy!

I can barely keep my eye balls open right now... but don't think I haven't thought of you! Things have been a little busy, to say the least. And I must have a slice of apple pie before heading to bed. Priorities.

More to come soon, I promise!

Life is what you make of it.

A year ago to the day, Benjamin and I were driving to Colorado Springs after spending the weekend in Taos, New Mexico. The tour was on, and normally I would be in Portland for the AVC, but this year I decided to skip it. Turns out they were rained on and some of the racing was canceled or delayed. Instead of pushing a fixed gear with my muscles, I brought my new 29" Kona hard tail mountain bike.

The riding in NM was not as good as we thought it would be. The recent fires closed most of the killer areas that we scoped out. So we headed back to COS and I packed up my bike to ship it home. When I went to board the flight, United overbooked the flight and were looking for volunteers. Volunteers would be comped $400 in travel vouchers and could go home anytime they wanted. My hand shot up.

A quick trip back to the FedEx where I dropped my bike off and a quick rebuild of my bike and I was off to Buckhorn trail and down Captain Jacks. At the top of the trail, just before turning down to make the descent - I made the decision that this was the place I wanted to live.

Flying home the next day to dumping rain in Seattle confirmed that decision.

And now here I am, a year after making that decision in a beautiful home with our two sweet puppies, in an amazing relationship with the man of my dreams, catching the Tour on the tele and working for a kick ass company who believes in me and understands my pedaling passion.

Life is what you make of it. And being the master of your own destiny pretty much rules. YES!!!

A Lost Art

My grandmother would be so proud.

Today, I was taught the art of place setting: where the salad and dinner fork, spoon, knife, desert and napkin go. Which direction the fork points, or the spoon, depending on its placement. And which way to point the knife (toward the plate). I know, I know. In the grand scheme of things these details and knowledge are pretty useless. Knowing where a fork goes won't make me a better person or solve world hunger. But for right now, it's paying my bills.

Last January I sent an inquiry email to Garden of the Gods' Gourmet. I rode by their place of business several times and thought - I love food, they're gourmet so let's make this happen. That's actually what I put in my application. A day later the manager called, next thing I know I'm running food all over Colorado Springs. It was exhausting! But I showed up on time, had a positive attitude and guess what? Within two months I was promoted to work the Market.

The Market went well. I sold products, educated customers on what we have and continued to lend a hand as much as possible. Again, I showed up on time, had a positive attitude and guess what? Within three months I was promoted to work in logistics.

Logistics went well. I posted the daily boards in the kitchen, helped out in as many was as possible. Then I went away for a month to Spain. I wasn't sure what would happen when I returned. But you guessed it, I showed up on time, had a positive attitude and guess what? Within two weeks I was promoted to work in event planning.

I've been open about my training schedule and travel - and my boss is completely fine with it. It is so nice to be valued and recognized. And to pursue my passion of racing. I am happy to be a part of this team and contribute in as many ways as possible. So today, I helped with place settings in our banquet facility for 75 people. I could hear my grandmother's praise and remembered how much she loved details about parties and the "proper" way to do things. The event was flawless, the customers happy.

I never would have thought I'd be planning people's weddings, taking care of a building and put in a serious leadership role this quickly. But I'm rolling with it, showing up on time and have a positive attitude.

As I folded linen napkins, I glanced down at my fingernails and laugh - Mummer also the one who told me that if I continued to bite my fingernails as a little girl, I wouldn't have any friends. I better start working on that....

Mallorca, Spain

It's been a week since I've been home and I miss the beautiful Mediterranean Ocean, salt air, salty pork, but mostly Benjamin. It seems like a dream, the three weeks I was there. I carried home memories to last a lifetime. We laughed, we played, he worked and I rode about 700 miles while there and loved every pedal stroke.

 So many beautiful sites. I love being the observer in our wonderful world, breathing it all in and letting it soak into my soul.

Riding just for the sake of riding, to take it all in. To see how high I could get my TSS score each day and celebrating with chocolate soy milk, pudding and cokes afterward.

To pedal through towns, sprint for town signs and soaking it all in. I feel incredibly lucky.

To pedal around mountains and counting in kilometers....

To appreciate each day and live it to the fullest. Mission accomplished.

Living a life without agendas and making the most of just being. Check.

No question about it, I could live in Mallorca. But only if Benjamin was there with me. ;) Home is where ever he is.

Pictures from the fire.

Fire. It's part of the circle of life. A natural occurrence that man kind has learned to harness to some extent. But it's also non-tamable. And if you add in wind, dry timber for fuel - nothing can stop its path. But the forests need it, to be burned clean so life can start new. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

This is where I used to start my hill repeats. I have stashed any extra bottles and flat kit by the electrical box you see in the background.

I was curious. I wanted to see with my own eyes what the city experienced the previous week. Being just outside of the evacuation zone, I wanted to see just how much of an impact this fire had. Along with the rest of the world, I saw the images on CNN and the Gazette. But nothing prepared me for the real impact.

Unlike the previous few days, the smoke smell disappeared. And if you look to the left, the houses are untouched even though the ridge above it was charcoal gray.

I didn't know which neighborhood Mountain Shadows is. I knew it was up in the vicinity where I do my hill repeats, but I didn't realize it was called that. Looking left (south), other than the brush fire remnants, nothing appears out of the ordinary.

Then you realize just how close those homes came to burning. What prevented it?

National Guard stood guard at the entrance to the streets too fire damaged to live in, yet still left standing.

See that big black patch directly in view? That's the path the fire took. It jumped over the entire street and destroyed the neighborhood below. Oddly, the fence was still standing.

Directly across the street from the picture pictured above, the Mountain Shadows neighborhood once sat. An entire cudesac: gone. I wasn't really prepared for that one. It slaps you in the face, the furry of fire.

I stood there in awe. That could have been our house. It could have been your parents, friends or neighbors. Where do you pick up the pieces after experiencing something like that? It still baffles me that only 2 people were killed from this fire.

This is the pathway of the fire, which leaped across the street and decimated the Mountain Shadow neighborhood.

Looking down into the neighborhood. That's a Jeep burned in the garage.

As I stood above what once were houses, a big wave of emotion over came me. We are but ants in this spinning world, and the world as you know can be turned upside down in a second.

A lone terracotta flower pot stands amongst the rubble.

Once I crested the hill, it took me a second to realize what I was seeing. In an effort to save more homes from burning, firefighters removed wooded fencing from all of the houses. Their tactic worked for most.

This sign put me in tears.

Yet hope rings through this neighborhood. People whose houses were spared, thanks in large part of the fire fighters efforts, but also a shift in the wind, put up signs everywhere that they are so thankful to be spared. You can feel the love.

Blodgett Mountain stands in the distance. This is the road traveling up to Woodmen.

Some how, some way, this entire neighborhood was spared. Thank you firefighter signs are every where.

Amazing.

It's hard to tell the difference between what's normal and what's not. Especially if you can't see it with your own eyes. But trust me, it's stunning. The topography remains the same, but the landscape is forever altered.

Drats! My camera phone was too slow to capture the fox... but he was there. Cautious and beautiful.

Looking back down the valley at Blodgett.

So many were lucky. So many were not. I'm proud of my community and nation in its response to the disaster. Money is pouring in for Red Cross and other disaster relief programs. Thank you all for thinking of us and know that we are safe and time will heal.