Something to work on

I think I figured out my number one goal for the 2010 season - how to hold back. I know, sounds silly, right? But for some reason, once that gun goes or that whistle blows - I come shooting out of the gates like a rocket and then BAM! Get nailed later by the build up of lactic acid. If I can just figure out how to pace myself.... then look out!

I was reminded of that this very weekend in fact. My first cyclocross race of the year - second ever. I decide to jump in with the cat 3 women despite my lack of obvious skills but figure, why not? My license says I'm a 3 (thanks to the automatic road upgrade) so I dabbled in it. In classic form, I take off like a rabbit on the first lap. I'm feeling good - sticking with the lead group. And then the barriers come. Uh oh. Suddenly I was off the lead group. And each time I would come upon those minor obstacles, I'd find myself further and further back. Thank goodness my mind set was solid - I was just there for the workout. And workout I did! Each time I would encounter the barriers, I would automatically start laughing at myself - thinking about how funny it must be to watch someone who has zero skill at doing trying to gracefully dismount and remount my bike. I will say this - I didn't fall. But I did belly laugh an awful lot despite being deprived of oxygen.

The past few days have been filled with scouring the Internet trying to learn from youtube examples of how to do this essential act. Just goes to show though - watching someone do something is no substitute for actually doing it yourself. So tomorrow night - rain or shine, I'm going to practice at Marymoor. Bring on the mud!


Oh - and here's proof that I suck at barriers - look how fast the dude next to me is cruising! My camera is notorious for NEVER capturing moving objects in focus .... enough said.

The leaves are watching....

Today I felt the cool wind on my face, damp with recent rain falling down from the gray sky. My wheels rolled over billions of fallen leaves, matted down to the trail like paper mache. Relying on the fact that I know the bumpy Burke Gilman trail by braille, it was easy to avoid known obstacles despite their disappearance.

Today was the first day of training for 2010. I dug out my winter clothing - with each piece tried and carefully selected for one purpose - warmth. Six seasons of winter training and I think it's safe to say I'm dialed in for the weather ahead. Now I have to maintain the delicate balance between staying motivated and not over doing it.

I thought of Ryan a lot today. He's been on my mind a lot lately and a frequent visitor to my dreams. I'm always thankful for his presence and absolutely miss him. But he also keeps me motivated because I know he's always watching and won't let me slack one tiny bit in my quest for pedaling circles on a world cup level.

New Traditions

Now that one year has come and gone and all of the firsts, as far as the calendar is concerned, are now seconds, I get to focus on creating new memories and traditions. My friend Sharon provided me with that key insight and it renewed my spirit for the upcoming holidays (which I dreaded last year) and thinking of ways to spend them. The more outrageous the better!

So thrown into the mix for Thanksgiving (which is a 4 day weekend!) and Christmas include...

Another Rogue River Rally
Mazama Mania
Smitten for Smith Rock
Curious for Coastal Cruises
Ping Pong Punishment at the Lodge

What to do, what to do...

Paranoia

I'm the first to admit that time spent off the bike means I start obsessing about other things. But my current obsession on Facebook and privacy is definitely warranted... and you should be paranoid too.

Identity theft. Ever heard of it? Ever dealt with it?

The Federal Trade commission estimates that as many as 9 million Americans have their identity stolen each year. Sure you've probably heard of someone having their social security number lifted and then found out later some impersonator had opened a credit line in their name. Then that person probably bored you with the details of all the hoops and red tape they had to ensue to clear their name.

But what about the current form of identity theft taking social networks by storm?

Did you ever stop to think when you signed up for Facebook or MySpace that you should deselect certain options - like not allowing non-friends to view information about you? Or how about when you download a "fun" application (who doesn't have the food throwing ability on their profile?) that this was allowing third party applications to view ALL of your personal data? Unless you have specifically gone through the myriad of security measures (that are NOT user friendly, by the way) then you are opening yourself up for potential identity theft.

I hope this is common knowledge for most. I hope I'm just preaching to the choir.

But let me back up a bit and put into context my recent paranoia.

A few months ago, I was surfing FB at work. On my home page in the friend suggestion box a name popped up that has ZERO connection to anyone anywhere within my social network. He was someone I only contact in the professional world. I immediately grew suspicious.

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine mentioned that she thought we were friends already on FB and that she keeps getting a friend request from me. I thought nothing of it, and so did she until she kept getting the same request this past week. She forwarded me the profile and this other "Jennifer Triplett" has lifted 7 photos from my profile in attempt to gain access to my friend's profile. She knew it wasn't me when that fake profile only had two friends on it. We both immediately reported the profile.

Then later that very day, I receive an email from "Microsoft" reporting that my email server is changing and it needs me to update some information. I contacted my friend Josh who hosts my site to let him know about the email and he said it looks like fraud.

Three instances that have sent me into a serious paranoia and serious contemplation of shutting down and closing all of my social networks.

I suppose the moral of the story? Keep tabs on all of your stuff. Set your privacy settings to Fort Knox proportions. Don't let it happen to you. And make sure your friends and family are doing the same.

(PS - I get back on the bike next week. :)

Nationals 2009

And now, the long anticipated race report....

Tela, Wheeler and I flew down on the Saturday before racing started on Wednesday to get some track time before the big day. Even though I have gone to nationals 4 times in LA, the track still freaks me out! I probably averaged at least 25 mph during our first "get calmly used to the track" session. Why, you might ask? At 250 meters and 45 degrees in the banking, you have to maintain a minimum speed of about 17 mph or face the humiliation of sliding down the track. It also helps to have new, gripping tires - wearing the same tires you've raced all season at Marymoor simply won't work. Add that with nervousness of the event and a week of taper - you bet I had the fastest warm up of my life! (And yes, I did spend hours of gluing with Jennie by putting on new tires on all of my race wheels.)

A couple more days of track time definitely calmed my nerves and by Thursday I was ready to go. First up - scratch race heats with the top 10 of each qualifying into the final. Shelley Olds proved the right wheel to be on in the final laps and we easily cruised through for top placements. But as long you achieve a top 10 placement in the heat is insignificant.

Next up - the 3k team pursuit. This is the event we've been focusing on. Unfortunately with Kendi away at Whitman for the past month, Wheeler and I had been doing the efforts minus one person. Once Kendi arrived in LA, we were able to nail down our exchanges in the training sessions a couple days before and went into the race confident and ready to go.

I started, Kendi second and Wheeler third. Call it nerves or something but my start was blistering fast and I looked back to see I had created a small gap. I toned it down to make sure we didn't blow up in the first lap. This is an event where you have to finish with all three women - if you have gaps between you then it makes it that much harder and slower. Toward the end of our go, a little gap started to open between Kendi and Wheeler once I pulled off - so I slipped in between them, giving Wheeler a little more time to rest the finish. We posted a time of 3:54 - a 3rd place podium finish! (First consisted of World Champ Sarah Hammer, National and Pan/Am champ Dotsie Bausch and National Champ and Junior World medalist Kim Geist with a time of 3:34, setting a national record. Second was the Proman squad (Higgins, Olds and King) with a time of 3:41.)

We still had business to do - the scratch race final. I'm not sure what the rules are as far as team tactics in a track race - but if you could have seen the scratch race in person you might have mistaken it for a crit. Proman was countering attack after attack and sitting in the chase group and slowing down any forward progress of catching those off the front. In a well timed attack, Shelley Olds went off the front of the group solo and lapped the field, securing a consecutive scratch race national title. Even the announcer was calling the obvious team tactics and as a rider in the field, it was frustrating. But that's racing and lesson learned - if you can't beat them, keep trying.

On the way back from the track, we gave Bobby Lea a ride back to the Redondo Beach house we were staying at and he offered some amazing advice into track racing. Coming from an Olympian and Scratch race winner that night, I really took to heart what he said. I find myself in complete amazement of being surrounded by such accomplished track stars - I can't think of any group of people who could possibly lend more insight into this sport.

Friday was the individual pursuit. I had a good ride and did a personal best - placing me in 5th! A couple of things to note though - my opening lap is as fast as Sarah Hammer's. I've tried and for some reason can't dial down my opening effort. I have two options - either figure out a way to start slower so I can have a more consistent effort for the entire 3k or build up my capacity so I can maintain the blistering fast pace I start out with. Option B sounds better, what do you think?

After a solid night's rest, it was back to the track for the 50 lap points race heats. The first heat was stacked - with Hammer, Olds, Cliff-VanRyan, Williams, and several others battling it out for the top 10 spots to qualify for the final. Kendi and I were also in heat 1. A decisive mid-race move containing 5 women who lapped the field, left the rest of us to qualify by sprinting for points. With 3 laps to go, I came up to the front of the field alongside Hammer. I could sense her getting ready to take off and as she sped up, I fell in line right behind her. Rounding corner 2 seated right behind Sarah in the last lap was the hardest I think I have ever gone on my bike. The last few laps were definitely a highlight of my season.

The 100 lap points race final was a few hours later and the plan was to watch the main players and wait for the move. With 10 chances to gain points, I sat in for the first couple of sprints and then watched as a perfectly timed attack from Sarah and Shelley went right before my eyes. I was on it - but with the slight hesitation I had, couldn't quite close the bike length gap between myself and Shelley for a decisive move that cost me the podium. I spent 3 laps in la la land - spending a HUGE amount of energy and couldn't quite close the small gap. Sarah and Shelley ended up lapping the field. I drifted back to the field exhausted, deflated and generally bummed out. Negative thoughts started drifting into my head - I was emotionally ready to break. But then I was able to gather myself back up, thanks to Jennie shouting encouragement from the side line, and scored a few more points. I ended up getting 9th. Looking back on it now though - I was so close to the podium that the woulda coulda shoulda's have been played over and over in my head. But at least I went for it.

The final day of racing had a demonstration women Madison. Another 100 laps. Christine and I partnered up for the event and, how do I put this lightly, got creamed. We finished 6th out of 10 teams. Unfortunately we weren't really in the mix with the top 5 teams to contend for any points - so it came down to the final placement on the last lap. It was fun participating in the first event for women at Nationals but my competitive edge has left me hungry and eager for more.

All in all Nationals was very successful on multiple levels. I made the podium in two new events, had several personal bests and learned some tricks to stay calm while inside the 'pressure cooker.' I also had the opportunity to watch my teammates express their abilities on the track and cheer them on. Wheeler's first go at it was amazing - she definitely has a future in this sport. And Jennie's support and coaching was world class - she deserves a National Championship for that in itself.

Thank you...

I am absolutely certain life's trials attributed to my success this year at Nationals. Being able to make the most of your time on this planet - especially when focused on an athletic endeavor makes the time pass quickly and easily. Now that I've had some time to reflect at home, this past year was one of the best performances I've ever had and fuels my fire for the years to come.

Having something to focus on while experiencing a year of firsts since Ryan's death was a God send. It would have been far to easy to slip into grieving unconsciousness, letting the blues consume me. Instead I found the right mental and physical support group that pushed me to new levels and helped me realize that I can do this.

I'd like to personally thank Jennie Reed for being a world class coach, mentor and friend. Her commitment to coaching me was beyond the call of duty and I feel so very blessed to have been coached by her. Not only did she provide kick ass workouts, but she also spent nearly as much time at the track as I did - providing lap times, effort explanations, encouragement and laughter. I learned how to give each effort 100% and go beyond what I thought was possible.

I'd also like to thank my mom- who was flexible with work, life and time throughout my demanding workouts and quick dashes to the track when the weather was dictating what could be done.

And of course all of my friends and family who provided tons of encouragement and cheering while I pedaled several hundred miles in circles.

Wow - what a great past two weeks it's been. Not only was Nationals a highlight of the year - but I also got to top it off by spending a week in the High Sierra's. There's nothing like climbing at 10,000 plus feet to get your mind off things.

Race report to come....

The calm before the storm

I'm sitting in the rental house right now in Redondo Beach, throwing distance from the Pacific Ocean. Everyone staying at the house, which appears to be growing by the minute, is gone watching the first day of competition at the track. I opted to chill and enjoy a little beach air and relaxation before being stuck in a fish bowl in Carson. We've put in a couple of efforts at the track the past couple of days and tomorrow will be day one of some serious pedaling. I'm looking forward to it and expressing 110% of my ability. Team Pursuit and scratch races kick off the extravaganza.

More to come...

Let the Countdown begin...

It seems like during the past week, every minute has been accounted for in the count down to departure for LA. Wheels have been glued, trued, and pumped. Bikes have been polished, tweaked and loved. Skin suits washed and kits selected. Meetings attended, food consumed, rest and recovery put in the utmost priority.

Not to mention all of the prep time that's been put in at the track. The hours of sweat, lung pumping, leg screaming pain is about to be put on display while pedaling circles on an indoor track. No head winds to contend with, no rain clouds to dodge. No 98" gears.

It's all coming to a head starting next Thursday with Team Pursuit kicking off the action. We're ready, that's for sure.

For the first time in awhile - I'm getting nervous. I feel more prepared than ever before and can't wait to see what happens!

And to sweeten the deal? I had a dream encounter with Ryan the other night. He gave me the biggest, warmest smile and I remember thinking what a beautiful man he is.

After Nationals, Chris and I are headed on a road trip - Yosemite bound! A great way to celebrate some down time. Looking at doing Snake Dike on Half Dome....

15 Seconds of Fame

Got a call Saturday morning from Sena, a friend of Jonah and Annie's. Sena's employer is looking for someone with toned, athletic legs to ride a bike and be showcased in some upcoming secretive project. All I had to do is show up for the interview wearing shorts and let them film me. Oh if I get the job it pays $1,000 for one full day.

Sena text me the address and Sunday after our track workout I headed to said address on Capital Hill. The receptionist buzzed me in and then had me fill out a form with basic information but also included agent name, height, weight, bust size, shoe size, etc etc. Oh and I can include a head shot if I brought one.

Head shot?

Um, the last head shot I had was in boxing when some 14 year old kid threw and landed a devastating blow to my nose and ego.

The holding area, where a dozen or so interviewees sat looking the part was interesting. Apparently the company had contacted 3 casting agencies as well as ran an add in Craig List to get more participants. They were flooded. I ended up waiting about 40 minutes while a steady and constant stream of applicants came through. Luckily I had a book and was more than happy to sit on my duff trying to recover from our 2k pursuit efforts.

Finally my time was up to walk downstairs and do the screening. And that's where I ran into Sena, frantically working away on their project. She apologized for the delay and then I sat on a bench while waiting for my 15 seconds of fame.

I got to run in place and have a guy video me from left to right, and then a back profile. Then I ran on a tread mill for 10 seconds. And then they put me on someone's clunky mountain bike attached to a trainer for another 10 seconds. It was weird.

Next time I'm making some stuff up on my fact sheet - such as an agent. I could have put anyone down - so why didn't I get creative? And head shot? Would my face book photo work? Hopefully my legs did the talking and we'll be called back for the second screening....

Heavy Night

Every year the Rock and Reel film selections is shown at the Neptune on 45th. A nice group of climbing friends get together and go to dinner at Cedars before and then walk down to the movie and follow it up with beers at a pub. Ryan used to refer to these films as "rock porn" and anxiously would await their debut.

So last night after dinner, we sat upstairs and I only made it through 1.5 of the first two films. The first was a feature on a soloist who recently completed half dome, a 2,000 foot wall of sheer granite in Yosemite Valley. It is hard to even comprehend the enormity of the wall - unless you see it in person. And this kid decided to do it without a rope. There were some difficult moments in the film and as the audience nervously laughed at some of the jokes about certain death, I couldn't help but wonder if they were laughing for having not experienced losing a loved one. I also thought to myself, okay Jen. This is as in your face about soloing as it's going to get. You can do this. And I stayed in my seat as the credits rolled.

The second film, the one that sent me running out - was a film that hit even closer to home. It was about a couple who were madly in love. The had climbed some of the coolest stuff on the planet. You could see their happiness in every photo you viewed of them. And then one day, while driving down a road in Utah, Stanley lost control of his car and did several flips. Roberta died in his arms. At this point, I'm sitting there pretty numb. But then it starts to talk about his personal journey through the vortex of grief and how he finally felt prepared three years later to travel to Patagonia and scatter her ashes as a means to close the circuit.

And that's when I went numbly into the bathroom and let out loud, long sobs. I live with grief every day. To see it up front and personal and a reminder of the pain? A little to close to home. It really hasn't been that long.

Lincoln and Jonah were there for me when I came out of the bathroom, ready to leave and get out of there. We had only watched 20 minutes of a 3 hour movie. Talk about good friends. And as we sat around the table at the pub, discussing how bizarre it was to see that film and how close to home it was - Ai came strolling in. Turns out she couldn't take it either. After a few minutes of talking about it, we started to gross each other out with rat stories, daddy poop stories (courtesy of Jonah and Lincoln) and travels.

It was a heavy night.

Staying busy

If I sit idle for too long, my brain starts to wander and the ever-present grief starts to wade back up to the surface. I've found the best thing to do is to stay busy. Apparently that need has amplified this week as I find some usually neglected house chores can be checked off my list. I mean seriously - who cleans their gutters BEFORE it starts raining? And getting the hot tub ready for the cold season? Trimming down the ivy hedge and taking out lots of Goodwill items?

I suppose it just goes to show I'm trying to actively deal with the grief then let it settle back in. Those days are unavoidable, to be sure. But I'm trying to save them for when the weather turns crappy.

After the big push for Nationals I'm really looking forward to doing some hikes, climbs and fishing. Fall is such a beautiful time of year to reconnect with family and friends - something I've certainly neglected doing the past several months.

It's also time to start planning some adventures and traveling to places. Anyone got any trip ideas coming up?

"Last time before Nationals",

Jennie encourages me before my last set of VO2 efforts.

"Last chance to get strong."

And as I rode one of the most solid and consistent over-paced and over-geared efforts, I couldn't agree with her more. I'll try to paint the picture for you.

First you start the first lap from a medium paced roll and sprint up to get on top of the gear for the first lap. The second lap you're supposed to settle into a pace you can sustain for 4 more laps but they way I've been tackling them has been at light speed. That second lap can make or break the entire effort. Too fast and you fade hard in the end. Not fast enough and you try to make up the time in the proceeding laps. But since it's such a short effort (2k) it is critical you nail every aspect of the effort. And doing that at Marymoor can be a crap shoot. Some days are windy, some days are hot or cold and then there's the goose poop to contend with.

But today - well today was shocking. I went into the session calm and relaxed. I dialed in my food today and it showed. My times today were faster than our team pursuit efforts. I bettered my time from last week by over a second per lap.

It's definitely safe to say I'm ready for Nationals. The prep work is nearly complete and in two weeks we head down to LA to win a stars and bars jersey. I'm excited and stoked to express 150% of my ability.

As Jennie would say, "LOOK OUT!"

First Year.

Whew. What a weekend.

Through constant thoughts of Ryan, tears shed, laughter shared, food consumed, IPA's tipped - we all survived. Not only did we make it but we did so in style and celebrated the inspiring life of a man who touched so many lives and lives on in the spirit of many, many people. (And dogs too! (That was for Makiah, Riley Jean, Nissa, and Fay-dog.))

The anniversary date of Ryan's death has been looming on my mind for the past several months. As the world kept spinning, I found myself trying to figure out the best and appropriate way to commemorate him. I asked several people - blank looks. I turned to the Internet and surprisingly found little to no information on death ceremonies. Why is death so taboo? Especially in our culture? I mean it happens to everyone - so why don't we deal with it upfront more?

Needless to say, I was on my own.

Trish (Ryan's mom) has been feverishly working on a tribute art show for Bubba. Friday was the opening show at the Blue Horse Gallery. Up until that point I had only seen small thumbprints of the work. And when I walked into the room and my eyes settled on a 48" x 76" piece she did at the base of Goat Wall in such amazing detail and color with such emotion and love I started weeping. Weeping at viewing the pains that she has struggled with the past year since losing her son. Weeping that Molly lost her brother. Weeping that such a beautiful painting could make you almost fall to your knees in astonishment. And that was just the first painting.

As I slowly circled the room, absorbing the enormity of her work while being intercepted by close friends and family, it re-affirmed that all this time I've been struggling, so has she. I feel like words don't do her art show justice. You have to see it in person. You must see it in person. The show will be up until September 25th.

That night we gathered across the street with dear friends and tipped several IPA's back. You could feel Ryan there - in his element around his friends and loved ones. We nearly shut the bar down.

Saturday morning was a little fuzzy so the drive East over Highway 20 was a little rough. Not to mention we had 3 adults in my Golf with way too much gear, food and dog. The plan was to convene with several friends at 20 Skyline in Mazama and hang out. We hung out at Lincoln, Shelley, Jonah and Annie's rental just down the development and simply enjoyed each others company. They had rented the same cabin 2 years prior on the same weekend- and it was the perfect gathering place. Especially considering the cold fall weather encompassing all of the valley.

By Sunday, more and more people had showed up. By Monday morning, Trish, Tom, Dave, Kristin and Heidi showed up. We had 20 or so people in all. Amazing that all these people would take time out of their busy lives to celebrate Ryan. Just shows what kind of guy he was and who he attracted.

Both nights I had trouble sleeping. Grief was ripping through my body. I'd try to sleep and couldn't stop thinking about him. All of the memories I have with him suddenly flooded my brain. It was as though my brain decided to start taking inventory of our life together. I'd wake up in the middle of the night and it took me a couple of hours to fall back asleep. By Monday morning, I was fried. But I was also ready.

Close to 11 am, we all convened at the parking area for Goat Wall and started the strenuous hike up to the base of Prime Rib, the climb Ryan was on. It was hard. Several times I had to stop just to collect myself from sobbing. Everyone took their time getting up to the ledge at the base. Trish and Tom were the last to arrive. Tom read a poem written for Trish that was read at the art show. And then I brought out Ryan's ashes. We passed them around for everyone to get a handful of. To feel him one last time in our hands. And then we released them at the same time.

Although I cried A LOT that day, after ward and during - once I had scattered his ashes at the base of the climb surrounded by our dear friends and family - I felt at peace. I know I still have grief to go through and there will be bumps and setbacks in the road, to make it to the first year mark and have everything come together was perfect. I guess then I realized some things you shouldn't plan for - and that dealing with death is very personal and individual but it certainly helps to share experiences with loved ones. Thank you to each and everyone of you who have helped me in the journey to get to this point - you all mean so much to me.

So if you haven't already - make sure that you drink an IPA soon in honor of Ryan and living life to the fullest. Rest in peace Bubba. I love you.

And when great souls die, after a period peace blooms, slowly and always irregularly.

Our senses, restored, never to be the same whisper to us.

They existed. They existed.

We can be. Be and be better.

For they existed.

- Maya Angelo

This is just way too funny not to re-post. As seen on the American Alpine Institute Blog. Make sure you watch the videos in order...

Captain Kirk likes to climb mountains.

In Star Trek V: The Final Frontier, the movie starts with Captain Kirk most of the way up a free solo ascent of El Capitan. Of course, Spock has to mess things up by showing up in his jet boots.

We've posted this clip in the past, but we've never had William Shatner's commentary on the scene before. It's pretty funny. William Shatner is clearly not a climber.

So before we look at Mr. Shatner's comments on climbing, we have the scene from Star Trek V to refresh your memories:




This is the clip where William Shatner explains that mountain climbers like to hug and make love to the mountain:




And this is the remix of the clip fashioned as a musical.




Hahahahaha

Parallels

We planted two Filbert trees in our front yard several years ago. They were a gift from Tom and Trish - a couple of starters from their beautiful tree. We planted them on either side of the front yard.

A couple of years have passed and one tree is quite large - even producing nuts this year. The other tree is withering and nearly dead. This last year it really took a turn for the worse and I can't help but draw parallels between our two lives.

Tomorrow is our 8th wedding anniversary. This is the song we danced to so blissfully at our larger than expected wedding. And listening to it now rips my heart in half. I didn't think it was possible to miss someone this much.



Every time I listen to it, it transports me into your arms on our wedding day. By your side.

10 pounds for $10 - organic peaches at QFC. They're the size of my head and they're amazing!

Couldn't help but think back to a year ago - this was the last night I spent with Ryan. It makes me sad thinking how a year has gone by without him. His quick wit, funny demeanor, gentle ways and restless personality. Man oh man do I miss him.

Cracked

Found a breaking point yesterday in training. Which is a good thing to know! We went so hard that I loaded the legs up and couldn't recover fast enough. We were on track for a 3:47 at Marymoor. And then I exploded. Ka-pow!